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7 Kingdoms
7 Kingdoms is an alliance built upon giant mounds of candy bars and sentient penises. The Seven Kingdoms is a premier PT alliance and one of the oldest alliances in the game, founded in April of 2011 (under the title Free People of Earth at the time). Seven Kingdoms will punch you in the face, steal your wallet, and then take off with your wife if you look at them funny. So be nice to them or else Lion will rape you, and you won't be able to sit for weeks. SK also has big titties and is not afraid to slap you with them. =Charter= Dont Fuck With Seven Kingdoms, or we'll let Lion loose on you, a fate no man should have. =Government= * King - Tenages * Kings Hand - Mikey * Lord of Foreign Affairs - Mikey * Lord of Internal Affairs - Mordecai * Lord of War - Nikolai * Lord of Education - Lucifah *High Priest of Penis and failed C.I.A experiment- Mikey =Early History - FPE= Back in the early days of Alpha Testing in April 2011, Cody K, The King, Chasm, and Mikey founded an alliance known as the Free People of Earth, or FPE for short. At the time, very few alliances were in existance, and the game was still in its early days of development. After Admin anounced his intent to put development on haitus for a month, and eventually have a reset, the four of them (and a few others they had managed to bring into the alliance) decided to take a break from FPE and explore new horizons until after the reset. Some months later, towards the end of June, the four of them, with the addition Lionheart the Almighty Ho, decided to return to the shores of Terra and reestablish the alliance. =Creation of SK, Savior of PT, embodiment of all things awesome, Harbringer of the Lulz= After reconvening to bring the alliance back together, it was generally agreed upon that the FPE name and theme sucked. A lot. Something had to be done. So at Lionhearts suggestion, the theme was changed and the name Seven Kingdoms was decided upon. Thereupon much discussing commenced, work was done to update the alliance and write a charter, and Chasm, our technology master, was a lazy bastard who took a week and a half to make the forums. Through conniving, whitchcraft, bribery, blackmail, and a whole host of other less than reputable methods (they hired Tenages and had him break kneecaps and control people with his voodoo), the Seven Kingdoms grew from 6 founders to 25 members in the space of two weeks, and to 73 members a week or so after that, Making them the 6th most powerful alliance in terms of nations, and one of the strongest in military might. They are unrivalled in penis. A large part of this was due to the immigration of those DLP sonsabitches. DLP is known for being some of the most badass and angry people on the internet, making SK one of the most badass and angry alliance on PT. The motto truly says it all, Don't fuck with Seven Kingdoms. To this day they remain the baddest mothafukas in town. So bow down lowly one, else we gonna cut you. =Comments on SK= "These are some fucked up individuals." "SK sucks at losing, for their awesomeness protects them from all military Units, and they will destroy all those who threaten the Lulz they strive to create." "God help us all, Mikey's in a leadership position!" "Mikey is a sentient penis..... seriously. Unfortunately, King-Jong-il jr. is larger." "If she were like, how old is she again? Let's just make it forty years younger, I'd totally do my mother." "Mikey, a Masochist transvestite who is in love with BBC, especially in his rectum" "Shellhould and Mikey are like an old married couple, but of them have their periods, both they always love eachother's fruit roll-ups. Shellhound/Mikey have been married for many decades. I am so proud of them" - Truth "Everyone knows that Snowwolf is the shadow leader of the alliance." =Recruitment= Are you interested in joining SK? Really? Well, there are certain requirements you need before you join. # You must worship Mikey as a god among men. # You must be in it for the Lulz. # You must not have a sadistic pride in eating penis Now your ready to join our alliance, you sick individual! =National Anthem= "Oh SK, Land of the Strange and Weird, '' ''To join you must stroke Lion's epic beard, '' ''You'll be set for life, '' ''you'll never deal with inner strife! '' ''Mikey has a Reagan Fetish, '' ''he's a Lulz Menace! '' ''CrackedMind Isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and he's wrong in the head! Taure is the brains of the bunch, but that aint saying much! =Wars= SK needs more IRON! This war stemmed from the, at the time, impending military reset and boredom, but mainly the former. It resulted in a tie. That's a lie. It stemmed nearly entirely from boredom. It also represents an attempted coup and takeover by Mikey and Retter, unfortunately Tenages wasn't in an alcohol induced coma as they though. Thus the coup was foiled by his magical awesomeness. The coup! Mikey has been planning a coup on our savior Lionheart, l'amen, and is smart enough to publicly state it at every given oppurtunity. that's why we pay him the big bucks (nothing at all). Cold War SK is currently engaged in a cold war with TC after attacking several leftist nations.